That they'll still want to run to me

Submitted by Julia Wawruszak

I was drawn to little babies and kids since I can remember. Always trying to cuddle them, push the pram or play with them. I was always amazed how cute they were and I knew I would definitely want to be a mama one day.

I was 28 when I gave birth to my first child. I remember being in the hospital, without my husband by my side, with other screaming women behind the partition, in severe labour pains thinking "never again'. But not long after my son was born and I got to hold my baby for the first time, all the pain become completely irrelevant and all I wanted to do was admire this little baby.

I remember his big eyes looking at me while holding my fingers tight. Feeling exhausted but trying to stay awake for just one more minute to stare for a bit longer at his perfect nose, lips, ears, fingers and toes.

My first steps into motherhood were not easy. The house and cupboards were prepared but my body was not prepared. Not prepared for the sleepless nights of non-stop crying baby, who refused to sleep. I was a zombie and felt completely incompetent. Yet at the same time, I knew that regardless of how I felt, how tired or depressed I was, all I wanted to do was to try whatever was possibly in my power to make my baby happy and provide him with all he needed.

A few years later we welcomed our second child, our baby girl. And even more love was poured into our hearts.

I can remember almost every minute of meeting my newborns. It feels like yesterday. So it makes it even harder to believe that both my children are not babies anymore and are past single digit age. What these years have taught me is that motherhood is an ongoing adventure of ups and downs. Everyday it teaches me to be more selfless, more patient, more understanding. On the days when I feel exhausted, it teaches me to be stronger and stronger and never give up. And when kids misbehave or argue, it helps me to understand God's love for me even more because no matter what they do and how disappointing it might be, my love for them only gets greater. I feel blessed to be a mum. And I appreciate my mum and all her hard work even more. But I also know that often, God is my only rescue. When I feel restless, I find my strength in prayer and peace in dedicating my children into His hands.

My biggest dream is to build such strong and loving relationships with my children that they'll still want to run to me and spend time with me, even when they won't need me anymore. Because I love them more than words can say!

Julia lives in Melbourne with her husband and two children. She's passionate about cooking and crafts but enjoys spending time with her family and friends most. Especially listening to classical music and playing board games. She loves God! Find her recipes on Instagram @kitchenofplenty and crafty creations @knit_crochet_crazy .