HOMEMAKER MONTH - Week 4 with Kristy Sylvester

The Philosophy of Creating a Home

Kristy Sylvester and I went to primary school together and now I have the privilege of observing her life from afar as she mothers two sweet children alongside her husband Regi. She is a teacher, worship leader and natural homemaker with a flair for drama and all things pure and clean. Her heart for people and community is obvious and extends to creating a beautiful home with a humble budget. We chatted about the philosophy behind making a home for yourself and your family and how doing so can create a space for God to move.

N: Kristy, thanks so much for joining me for Homemaker Month!

K: You are so welcome, THANK YOU for inviting me into the conversation. This topic is one I am excited about and passionate about.

N: I’d love to hear how you’d describe your home style? And what inspired that?

K: Neutral, earthy and inviting. I always keep things simplistic and neutral in style, it beats having to keep up with whatever latest trend is going around and you know that when you buy for your home it is going to have a timeless look to it (otherwise home decor can easily become a money pit). It also means that I can use one piece of decor regardless of its function for different rooms or different spots in one room. I get bored easily so giving my living room or bedroom a shift around for a change is fun and free! No need to be buying new stylish items because it’s all neutral and timeless in style. I love keeping the colours, materials and feel of all my household items very earthy so woody materials and colours, browns and tans. I’ve always been delighted by and connected to nature so bringing the essence of that into my home is key. Having a few signature plants, that I know I can keep alive, allows for some clean oxygen in the house but also gives a grounding feeling. Choosing earth coloured candles or wooden photo frames also brings that earthy essence. Lastly, my household must always be inviting in its style, I never buy anything that is just for looks, our cushions and couches, pillows and blankets, rugs and coffee tables need to look inviting and feel just as comfy as they seem. It’s important when you have kids and a husband who loves to sink into the couch or lay on our rug with the kids. PLUS I love hosting so this means that my living room, my bedroom the kid's room needs to be functionally comfortable and not just aesthetically pleasing. My biggest inspiration in this HAS to be my mum. We have very different tastes, however, the essence in homemaking and having an environment that is easy to relax in and feel instantly at home in has come from seeing my mum do this again and again over many years.

N: What would you say is your favourite part of decorating your home?

K: As cliche as it sounds, piecing the final product together. Sometimes it takes me weeks or months to buy the right pieces for a room; find that perfect throw blanket or looking for artwork or the right lampshade. I don’t rush into any purchases because sometimes that leads to impulse buys that make you either spend too much money or not think through that item, how much you actually need it or whether it just looked good in the store or online and not in your own home. And let’s be honest, we don’t always have the money we need just lying around, so saving up for something you want in your home is a very real thing. When I have finally found everything I want for that space and placed it all - standing back and looking at the final product gives me a great sense of pride and pure joy! Knowing that my family and friends will enjoy this space and that I will enjoy this space!

N: How has created a beautiful home impacted your relationship with God?

K: Creating a beautiful home was a life lesson in itself! I married Regi and we moved into our beautiful 2 bedroom granny flat with bare walls and empty rooms. I started finding items on the Facebook marketplace leading up to the wedding, like our couch and dining table, the very key essential household things I collected in my father in laws ute, all second hand and haggled down prices. Initially, It was hard knowing we had savings we could spend on more expensive and fancier furniture and yet not actually doing that. I had to resort to pre-loved items and although I didn’t have an issue with it I was annoyed that I couldn’t have the best and the latest right then and there. God was teaching me a spirit of patience and working towards something with love and care rather than the spirit of this modern-day and age which is a kind of a ‘snap my fingers’ mentality. So as I started to collect pieces for our house over time slowly but surely I began to ‘make our home’. In this time God reminded me nearly every day that I was blessed to have walls and a roof, I was blessed to have my Kmart kitchenware and FB marketplace couch. I was blessed to have a loving husband and a beautiful son and daughter who we were blessed to be gifted with healthy and thriving. Soon my perspective changed from what I didn’t have to thank God for what I DID have. Two years on and I look at my house, I see everything that we have and the beautiful space that I have had family and friends come and go and I think it was two years of slowly putting in the time here and there and now I have a home. God works on us that way and it takes patience and time but one day we look back and we see all the blessings. That's the lens I see it all through now.

N: What have been the greatest benefits to your family in having a home rather than just a house?

K: I want my home to be a place where my family does not feel like they need to escape from, rather a place they can escape to! Don’t get me wrong…getting out and about and going to beautiful places is so awesome and essential. But I need my home to be a safe haven and a place where my husband and my kids can destress, relax and have fun in. If it is just a house it will be the place where we eat and sleep in but Regi and the kids will go looking elsewhere to fill a void that only a home should fill.

N: Can you tell us what you’ve learned about yourself in the process of getting married, having a family and creating a space for others?

K: I’ve learnt that who I am on the inside and where I am mentally will always show in my household. If I am exhausted or foggy in the head, the living room will stay cluttered with toys and the laundry will pile up. If I am full of energy and motivated my household will look like page 6 of a home magazine. I am someone whose house is affected by personal life, mental state and energy levels. I wish I was like my mum and my sister and a bunch of women that I know whose house is clean 24/7 come rain or shine but I am not. After realising this I have had to create some ways to manage everything. As women, we have our monthly’s, hormones, children tugging on our legs, cooking, cleaning, romance, work AND our own hobbies and interests. How do we balance it all without compromising all of our home-making values? I have the ‘Every Second Day Rule’. This one I learnt from being a parent and I have applied it across all fields. The mantra is basically this, today didn’t go to plan so we’ll start again tomorrow. I know you women understand the mental checklist concept so when we don’t tick all the boxes, don’t meet today’s quota of wife/ mum duties and go to sleep with a guilty conscience I say “I’ll tackle it tomorrow”. I couldn’t sustain having a spotless house every night so I have to do a little bit every day, one job at a time. And if today’s Kristy didn’t get to it then tomorrow Kristy will. And in that process, you find that eventually, you get things done with less guilt and more mental space to keep your home a happy and free place.

N: How has God met you in your home?

K: To be honest, God meets me in the shower, in the kitchen, in the kid's room, in my bedroom… He has no limitations as to where I feel I connect most with Him. This is due to the fact that I have on many occasions opened up my home to Him and given him free rein. I remember the scene from The War Room where Priscilla Shirer’s character starts claiming the authority of the presence of God in her home and rebukes the enemy out of her home. Although I never did this to the level of intensity that she did I most certainly have in prayer and in thought whilst being in my home given God the authority to move and impact myself and my family. I claim over my household Joshua 24:15 “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord”, and what better way to start this practice of service than to be worshipping him and conversing with him on the daily in your own home. Most importantly when you’re chasing the heart, mind and character of the Proverbs 31 woman you find yourself always being humbled by God. He keeps humbling me when I am busying serving my family in all the ways I am challenged to as a wife and mother. Putting my home and my family first is a sure way that God meets me, in the midst of my chores, speaking to and renewing my heart.

N: Do you have a favourite room or space in your house?

K: I love my living room and bedroom most. As mentioned, we live in a beautiful 2 bedroom granny flat. As lovely as our home is, it is very small. And there is not a lot of storage or extra space so the kitchen can be squashy at times even though I spend about 75% of my day there! My living room is my Zen place and my bedroom is where I can switch off and sink into my comfy bed.

N: Do you have any hacks, tips or tricks for creating a beautiful home on a budget?

K:

• Pray for a grateful heart. perspective is everything and we as a society get too caught up in comparison. Think about what people lack in this world and how much you have. You will feel rich very soon when you get that perspective right!

• Op-shops and Facebook Market place are FULL of cool pieces. You’ll always find the best prices there and you will also find unique and cultured items that won’t look mainstream.

• Don’t be afraid to rearrange a room when things feel stagnant or need a change, every 3-6 months one or more of my rooms get shifted around and it really livens up the places and makes the home a little more exciting.

• Don't be afraid to get crafty! A handheld sander and some paint can go a long way. My coffee table and tv cabinet were a total of $50. TV cabinet from Marketplace, and the coffee table was free from the side of the road. I sanded them both down and painted over them with a small can from Bunnings and now I have two very unique pieces at a minimal cost and suit my homestyle.

N: If you were to start your home from scratch, what would you do differently? What would you keep the same?

K: I would do a lot more online scanning before buying anything. Not to compare myself and taste to others but to find inspiration, find brands and styles that compliment my family’s character. It took time to secure my own personal style and the flare I would bring to my home so I wouldn’t rush it as much. Take my time, save save save and then start purchasing things I am sure would speak to the nature of who we are as a family and the environment I want to create for my home.

N: Do you have a family Bible verse that you speak over your home?

K: “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord” Joshua 24:15 I explained this verse earlier and what it means for our family home to be a place where the relationship with Him can happen. I also speak this over our household because I want my home to not only be inviting for aesthetic and comfort reasons but so that it can be a place where we as a family can minister to those who enter. Growing up people always made comments about my parents home, how inviting, lovely, comforting and safe it felt. More than anything people would speak to the way they felt the presence of God in our home. Yes, music and good food can attribute to this and of course the right kind of company. However, I know that the way my mum transformed our house into a home was a way of “setting the table” for God to move and impact people who entered our home. My dad always affirmed her homemaking qualities and encouraged us, his kids, to follow suit. I hope that I have adopted those qualities so that hopefully not only my family feel like they are in a space that is open towards heaven but that anyone else who enters may experience the presence of God.

Thank you so much for the chat, Kristy. Thank you for showing us your home and the hints to creating beautiful God spaces.